


"I've got a deal for you."

by CloudNucleus



Category: A Hat in Time (Video Game), Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Dungeons & Dragons Character Backstory, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23258911
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudNucleus/pseuds/CloudNucleus
Summary: For my birthday, I'm planning to run a silly oneshot D&D campaign where there are lots of references to pieces of fiction I like, including many video games and memes. I've also encouraged the players to make silly characters, characters who are just existing fictional characters, or any sort of character they wouldn't otherwise play as in a normal campaign. Because it's for my birthday and I said so, and also because I really like this character idea, I'm also going to be playing a character. Their name is Umbra, they're Lawful Evil, and they are a warlock whose patron is Snatcher! This is the story of how they got their power.Warning: Not super well written. Just for fun. I wrote this on paper and wasn't gonna post it, but my brother begged me to. :)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	"I've got a deal for you."

Today was the day, Umbra told themself, as they packed a bag and slung it over their shoulder. They were going to _finally_ leave home to find the mysterious forest they'd read about.

They couldn't wait to meet the ghosts. They'd probably have many dark tales about their tortured pasts... It would be fascinating for sure. Much better than talking to people who were still alive. Just about everyone was boring.

Umbra liked to learn about interesting people and events, and they found they gravitated toward the tragic ones. They were fun to think about. Many people avoided Umbra because of this. They didn't really care, personally.

As they began to walk, Umbra excitedly anticipated their future. They weren't sure they'd ever come back to their hometown, since those people didn't like them anyway. It was okay. Umbra didn't really care to talk to anyone besides the ghost they'd read ruled the Subcon Forest - Snatcher.

They weren't just looking for something fun to do. They wanted power - enough power to turn any situation in their favor. Snatcher was apparently very powerful, even enough so that he could kill someone through the sheer force of his will. Perhaps he could give Umbra powers of this sort...

The journey took many days, but surprisingly, Umbra didn't get lost even once.

On the way _to_ the forest, that is.

They ended up meeting the ghost they were looking for on accident. One moment they were walking, looking around, admiring the scenery - the next, they were trapped in a bag suspended in the air!

"Hey!" they shouted, struggling. "Lemme out of here!"

The next thing they knew, they were on the ground with a sore butt. The next moment, they noticed that they apparently weren't in the forest anymore - everywhere they looked, it was purple, with a stormy sky, and no walls or trees to be seen.

It was just them, and a towering, purple ghost with a grinning, glowing yellow face. 

" **AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! FOOOOOOOOOOL!** " Snatcher shouted.

Umbra scrambled to their feet. "Whoa, hold up! You're Snatcher, aren't you? I actually came here to find you!"

Snatcher looked confused and angry. "Hey! You interrupted my monologue!"

Umbra rolled their eyes. "Um, sorry?"

Snatcher continued, " **You blew it! You've totally screwed yourself! Nobody enters my home and leaves in one piece!** " He took a breath, despite not needing to do so. "All right, why're you looking for me?"

Umbra grinned. "I've got a deal for you. A very good deal."

"...What _kind_ of deal? There better be something in it for me."

"Oh don't worry, there's _plenty_ in it for you. Even my _eternal servitude,_ if that's what you want. You can have my soul, and I'll even gather more for you! I just want a _little bit_ of your power." They smiled confidently.

"You'd really just _give_ me your soul for _that?"_ Snatcher sounded skeptical.

"Sure! According to what I've read, humans don't need souls to live. You just feel empty without one! And I already feel empty all the time, so you can have it."

"Well, I can't turn down a free soul!" Snatcher raised a hand in preparation to work his magic, but Umbra held up their own hand in a "stop" gesture before he could.

"Hang on a second. It's not free. I asked for power in return, remember?"

"Kid, you know I don't need your consent to snatch your soul, right?"

"No, but you do need to agree to my terms if you want my _service._ " To Snatcher's great surprise, Umbra pulled out a contract, which they had carefully written before leaving home. It read, "I hereby grant Umbra the ability to use ghost-like powers*. In return, I accept their soul as payment. In addition, Umbra will work for me** and do as I say." (At the bottom, there was fine print that said, "*Powers must grow stronger as Umbra improves at using them, at a reasonable rate. **Umbra will not be forced to work over 40 hours a week.") At the bottom of the contract were places for both Umbra and Snatcher to sign.

Snatcher took the contract, magically making it grow to his size and reading it over. "Don't think I'm not reading the fine print, kid."

"My name's Umbra."

"Good to know, kid," Snatcher replied sarcastically.

When it looked like Snatcher was done reading, Umbra spoke up again, "So do you accept my terms?"

Staring Umbra down, Snatcher asked, "What makes you think I have the ability to share my powers?"

For a moment, Umbra was horrified, though they tried not to show it. "Lucky guess?" they tried hopefully.

Snatcher grinned wider. "Lucky indeed." He summoned his signature wax seal and stamped it onto the paper, then shrunk it back to its original size and handed it to Umbra, who excitedly pulled out a pen and signed their name beside Snatcher's seal.

After Snatcher had made a magical copy of the contract for himself to keep, he said, "Great! Now that that's out of the way, I'll be taking _this!"_

The air around Umbra flashed and crackled with purple lightning, then they saw a glowing purple wisp of some sort, shaped almost like them, floating out of their body.

Huh. Being without a soul _did_ feel uncomfortably empty. They'd get used to it, though. "All right?" they said, folding their arms.

Snatcher sighed. "You're kinda infuriating, you know that? Hold on a sec." He began to concentrate hard, and he and Umbra both started glowing with a light that somehow seemed to be both yellow and purple. Umbra could feel a strange, unearthly power flowing through them... They were pretty sure they were changing, too, like physically, though they weren't quite sure how.

Eventually the glow faded away, and Umbra blinked a few times. Were their eyes different? They probably were. Their whole body felt different.

They took a deep breath and concentrated on unleashing some form of magic power. Outstretching their hand, they fired an Eldritch Blast into the distance, and cheered.

"You done?" Snatcher asked.

"Yeah," Umbra said.

"Okay then." The world around them returned to normal (or at least normal for the Subcon Forest). Had they not left the forest the entire time? "I've got some work for you then!" He shoved a few scrolls into Umbra's hands. "You can take souls if you can get people to sign these contracts. Bring them to me. And don't try to eat the souls - you can't do that, at least not yet. You're still _alive,_ after all."

"...Was that a threat?"

"It will be if you don't get to work!"

"Ooookay, got it." Umbra began to walk off. It occurred to them that this work would require them to leave the forest, but it was totally worth it. They'd gotten what they came here for.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm really not sure how to end a story
> 
> also i figure that if snatcher can insta-kill you if you refuse to sign his contracts and he can make the shadow puppet outfit, he's probably powerful enough to be a warlock patron


End file.
